Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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