I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
