nut hugger
did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Randomize
