Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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