And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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