i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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