Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
