sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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