"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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