MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
