i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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