The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Randomize
