but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Randomize
