what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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