how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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