that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
