I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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