Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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