im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Your shirt... Was in my pants
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
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