I bet he comes in French.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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