why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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