you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
