so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
