went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
