We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
