I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
