You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
its not stalking. its research.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Randomize
