Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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