That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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