I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
