my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
