Dude my mom stole all your condoms
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
In America we eat man semen.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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