I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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