I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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