so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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