So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
