I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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