I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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