Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
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