More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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