He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
