can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
