i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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