So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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