roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
