There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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