his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you traded sex for a burrito?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Verdict: uncircumcised.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
