fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
