Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
