is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
